I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize