My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
