My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
