i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
