pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
