Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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