where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I'm going to jail i love you
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
