Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
