Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Randomize
