He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
