just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Couch. On fire.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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