your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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