My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
