I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
