You're so nebulous sometimes
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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