and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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