Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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