I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize