Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Randomize
