Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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