We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
