i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
