he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
