she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You're like the curious george of whores
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
