Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vagina is talking i cant
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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