its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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