I look better un-naked...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
