The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Couch. On fire.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
