Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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