trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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