I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Randomize