i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
