I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
