Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
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