I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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