i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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