i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
