haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
