i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
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and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
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I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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