just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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