My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
