I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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