I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
