xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
