At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
