I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
