I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
