she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
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The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
It's not a walk of shame if you run
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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