I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
