do herpes really smell.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
