Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
All I want is dick and wine.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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