I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
