Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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