so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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