Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
