i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
