I smell stomach acid.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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